“To love an addict is to run out of tears.” ~ Sandy Swenson

I was visiting my daughter who was going to school in Paris, and we decided to take a couple of days and head down the south of France. It was Mother’s Day, and we were sitting in a café in Monaco enjoying the most exquisite French pastries and espresso. I thought to myself, “Wow, pinch me! I’m in Monaco for Mother’s Day with my beautiful daughter. Life doesn’t get much better than this!” Well, that sweet moment suddenly collided with my cell phone ringing with a call from my former husband. I figured it couldn’t be good news because it was about 2:00 a.m. California time. I answered the call with trepidation to hear him tell me our 17-year-old son had totaled the car and had gotten a DUI. I had just spent two years of sleepless nights, cried buckets of tears, and drained every bank account I had to pay for him to go to the best therapists and residential...

I was taking a new exercise class yesterday and I knew it was going to be a big stretch for me.  Many intimidating pieces of exercise equipment were glaring at me. Large weights, steps stacked high, and huge ropes.

I looked around to assess all the other class members and I was sure they were all much stronger, thinner, more experienced.  As I continued to make-up these stories in my head my fear grew and I doubted my ability. I often tell my clients when they are in fear-based thinking, “you are making up a story about the future so you might as well make up a good story.”  I decided to take my own brilliant advice and congratulated myself on showing up for the class and decided to challenge myself. I made a decision to ‘compare me to me’ instead of comparing myself to the others in the room. To compare is to despair and only leads to unhappiness.  The demands we put on ourselves for perfection is disheartening.

When it felt like it was...

From Chapter 8 of My New Book: 

When All Else Fails Drink Coffee - For Women Who Are Overworked, Underpaid, and Too Tired To Get Laid

Get a Backbone Instead of a Wishbone - Say “NO!” 

"Once upon a time a woman said “f*ck this shit” and she lived happily ever after.” ~ Author unknown 

Zilch, Nada. Niet. Nein. No! Practice saying “No” or even better, “Hell No!” and stand up for your bad self. We are just too damn sweet, accommodating, and appeasing, and sometimes, we act like a pushover. Tell the bake sale women that your oven has a rat problem. Call in dead to work. Tell your husband no sexual favors until you get some Tiffany. I found a great quote that reads, “I don’t care what people think of me. I’m busy; I’ve got magical shit to do.”  That’s right, we have to say a firm NO to what doesn’t serve us. No to things that waste our time and energy, because our...