How to Enjoy the Holidays Booze-free for Moms

While Eleven Pipers are Piping and Ten Lords a Leaping may be all having a great time; as moms, during the holiday season, we may feel more like Seven Swans a Swimming upstream in rough waters.  Due to all the high-stress and expectations of others, and ourselves we may feel more like the Grinch than Jolly Old St. Nick. While it would be nice to have the Eight Maids a Milking arrive at your door to help with the long to-do-list, it is possible to enjoy the holidays without them.

Here is a self-care plan to help you not just survive the holidays, but to actually enjoy them ... Booze Free!  

1.  Lower your expectations of yourself.

For years I tried to keep up with the Jones (whoever the heck they are) and I pictured everyone having a Hallmark holiday and living happily ever after.  I worked tirelessly to have the perfect house, the perfect kids in the matching outfits, buy the perfect gifts, and send the perfect Christmas card. In recove...

Recovering​ ​from​ ​an​ ​addiction​ ​is​ ​tough​ ​enough,​ ​but​ ​when​ ​you​ ​throw​ ​in​ ​the tremendous​ ​responsibilities​ ​of​ ​motherhood,​ ​resisting​ ​cravings​ ​and​ ​remaining abstinent—much​ ​less​ ​enjoying​ ​the​ ​rewards​ ​of​ ​the​ ​holidays—can​ ​seem​ ​like​ ​an impossible​ ​challenge.

The​ ​holidays​ ​can​ ​bring​ ​up​ ​many​ ​uncomfortable​ ​feelings​ ​of​ ​stress,​ ​loneliness, financial​ ​fear​ ​and​ ​overwhelm​ ​which​ ​can​ ​often​ ​trigger​ ​a​ ​relapse.​ ​For​ ​the​ ​alcoholic​ ​or addicted​ ​mom​ ​trying​ ​to​ ​get​ ​sober​ ​or​ ​stay​ ​sober,​ ​it’s​ ​vital​ ​we​ ​know​ ​what​ ​our​ ​triggers are​ ​and​ ​step-up​ ​our​ ​recovery​ ​plan​ ​to​ ​avoid​ ​a​ ​relapse.​ ​​ ​I​ ​heard​ ​someone​ ​once​ ​say, “we​ ​are​ ​either​ ​working​ ​on​ ​our​ ​recovery​ ​or​ ​working​ ​on​ ​a​ ​relapse.”

Once​ ​we​ ​know​ ​what​ ​our​ ​danger​ ​signs​ ​are,​ ​we​ ​can​ ​watch​ ​out​ ​for​ ​them.​ ​So​ ​when​ ​we identify​ ​the​ ​triggers,​ ​we​ ​can​ ​see​ ​them​ ​as​ ​highw...

LOVE ADDICTION – A MOTHER REVEALS HER SHOCKING STORY

My fear of abandonment is exceeded only by my terror of intimacy.  

Ethlie Ann Vare

When I got sober in 1999 – I put down the alcohol and picked up another addiction – Men!

I was a serial dater. I don’t know how many men I dated nor do I remember many of their names. I would spot a man, beeline to him, flirt up a storm, and if he gave me even the slightest bit of attention I was hooked. The shelf lives of these relationships were one to three months. One day I’d be saying, “I love you,” and the next day, out of the blue, I was saying goodbye. I was going from man to man with an empty, bottomless cup, begging for love and attention. It was never enough because I didn’t feel enough.

What makes me cringe the most is how my serial dating affected my children. They witnessed the revolving door. I’d spend hours on the phone with the man of the moment. My five-year-old son would try to pull me away from the phone, and I’d tell him to w...