The Gifts of Sobriety

What I Didn't Know About Recovery Before I Got Sober

While I was still drinking  I had no idea what it would be like to be sober.  In the brief moments I contemplated not drinking, I thought all the fun would stop and I'd be sentenced to a life of misery without alcohol.  My delusional thinking told me everything was just fine when in reality, I had a lot of shame about my behaviors while under the influence of alcohol.  No one told me how incredible life in recovery would be.

Here are just a few of the many gifts of sobriety I didn't know which were waiting for me in recovery.

• I’d have so much fun AND remember it!
• Everything can be healed.
• Relationships with my kids would be tender and real.
• I’d be given a peace I’d never known.
• I’d learned to ask for help.
• I would never have to be alone.
• I’d have a solution to all my fears.
• I’d find a God of my understanding.
• I’d meet the most amazing...

Compassion in Recovery: Perspectives to Keep in Mind

by

 RUTA STERNBERGS, Ed. D., Psy. D., CADC-II

What is compassion in recovery?

The dictionary defines compassion as the “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” In recovery, it is the extension of that same empathy and concern towards oneself, which means treating oneself with the same level of kindness and respect that one would show others in their time of need. As individuals come out of their drug and alcohol addiction and realize the full impact of their past mistakes, it’s tempting for them to feel guilt and shame for the harm they have caused others while they were addicted. Compassion in recovery, a vital skill that people learn in dual diagnosis treatment, helps promote healing by removing obstacles of shame and guilt that often cripple an individual’s progress to full recovery.

Where does self-compassion come from if you’ve never had it in the first...

Recently I attended an intervention training with the internationally acclaimed interventionist, Ken Seeley.  The training was outstanding and I learned some new tools, which have helped me tremendously with the interventions I’ve done for mothers.  Here is a great article he wrote.

Helpful Guide When Planning an Intervention for a Loved One

By Ken Seeley, Founder of Ken Seeley Communities

Addiction can be absolutely brutal to witness in a loved one. Each day you see the cumulative effects of drugs or alcohol stealing away the person you know and love. As they spiral deeper into the vortex of addiction, family and friends are left feeling utterly helpless to change the course of the disease.

Amazingly, the one person who should be aware of the self-destruction being waged via addiction is the one person who seems to be completely clueless…the addict him or herself. As is common in addictive behavior, denial is like a steel barricade that has been...

5 Tips to Overcome Loneliness

An excerpt from my book “A Sober Mom’s Guide to Recovery” (Hazelden Publishing, 2015)

"When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death—ourselves."— EDA LESHAN

Loneliness is one of the most difficult human emotions. It can feel like a hole in the bottom of your gut, or a deep, aching longing in the heart, or both. The addict runs from loneliness in many ways: through drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, bingeing, purging, overeating, gambling, busyness, and overworking. These quick fixes do the trick at first, but as with all addictive behaviors, the high or distraction quickly wears off, and we’re back to feeling lonely and isolated. We pick it up “just one more time”—the drug, the alcohol, the lover, the credit card, the carton of ice cream— and then we’re left with that deeper hole of self-loathing and demoralization.

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